Let's sleep on it

In your anger do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah. Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.  –Psalm 4:4-5 (ESV)

Joseph was devastated by the news: his bride-to-be was pregnant with a baby that wasn't his. Mary had tried to explain, but it just sounded too crazy to be true. A flood of thoughts, feelings and emotions flashed in rapid succession: rage, disappointment, embarrassment, despair, broken-heartedness, betrayal. His reputation was at stake! He fought hard, resisting the urge to react. Better to walk away, take a breath, think this through.

Many would assume the baby was his – he had obviously dishonored his fiancée by taking her before their wedding night. Would he compound his guilt by trying to pass off this ridiculous “Son of God” story? Others would reckon that Mary had cheated on him – if he was buying that “virgin birth” nonsense, he must be awfully gullible. Which was worse – to be thought a degenerate or a buffoon?

What about Mary? A single mother with a scarlet letter, no respectable man would want her now. And the baby? Poor kid didn't stand a chance; probably be begging on the streets by the time he was five. But that was on Mary. Joseph was the one who had been wronged here. Right? Right??

Joseph looked forward to being a father one day – what Jewish man didn't? But not like this. A good and godly man, he crafted a response that seemed very reasonable, kinder than many of his friends and relatives thought was deserved. He would “divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). With the matter decided, he laid down for what he hoped would be a restful night’s sleep, his first since hearing the news. He could talk to the elders in the morning.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. –Matthew 1:20, 24 (NIV)

Although his mind had been made up, Joseph left himself open to God’s will, a path that would mean more questions, more whispers, more awkward conversations, more sideways glances, more mocking, more judgment. Joseph was obedient. God was faithful. And history was changed. The Son of God grew up in a stable home, built on a foundation of parents who shared an experience, both sweet and challenging, that was completely unique to them. Jesus learned a trade that served him to the age of 30, with lessons modeled in the workshop that He would apply throughout His ministry such as craftsmanship, attention to detail, and finishing what you start.

There is a time for quick action, say, in a moment of threat or danger. However, a hasty, emotional reaction when I’m hurt or angry rarely yields a good result. A cool-headed, measured response, while much better, can still be limited by my personality, my mental capacity, and the scope of my experience. My best response is one that is informed by God.

That instruction comes in multiple forms. I have never been visited by an angel in a dream, at least not that I remember. But I have been swayed by scripture, influenced by the counsel of godly people, and motivated by a nudge from the Holy Spirit. A new course of action becomes clearer. It is often counter-intuitive, defying human logic. But with God's help, it begins to look feasible, if not easy. Today I’m praying for wisdom to follow Joseph's example: Check my first reaction. Develop my most graceful response. Sleep on it. Re-evaluate the situation in the morning. Ensure I'm being obedient to the LORD. Pursue my path in confidence.

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.  –Psalm 4:8 (NIV)