A ragged prayer

Lord, you are the God who saves me;
    day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
    turn your ear to my cry.  –Psalm 88:1-2 (NIV)
 
Have you ever prayed a ragged prayer? A prayer prayed when you're in pain, stressed, busy, distracted? Thoughts are scattered and incomplete, confusion sets in, words are elusive, and praying is the last thing you feel like doing. That’s the way Psalm 88 strikes me.
 
There is a pattern in many of the psalms where the poet has a complaint or a request, expresses his feelings, cries out for relief or vindication, then takes solace in remembering all the times God has delivered him in the past. He recalls God’s promises, God’s faithfulness, and His track record for showing steadfast love toward His people as he confidently calls on God to come through yet again.
 
You have put me in the lowest pit,
    in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily on me;
    you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
You have taken from me my closest friends
    and have made me repulsive to them.  –Psalm 88:6-8a (NIV)
 
Psalm 88 has no such turning point. It was written by Heman, who was the grandson of Samuel and appointed by King David to serve as a worship leader in the service of the tabernacle. He had musical talent, sang, and directed a choir which included seventeen of his children.
 
He also had a dad, Joel, and an uncle, Abijah, Samuel’s sons, who took bribes and corrupted justice in Israel, leading, at least in part, to the nation’s request to do away with the system of judges over Israel and install a king to govern them. This psalm may reflect some of the pain and rejection Heman felt as a result of that part of his past.
 
But I cry to you for help, Lord;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
 Why, Lord, do you reject me
    and hide your face from me?  –Psalm 88:13-14 (NIV)
 
He recognizes Yahweh as the God of his salvation, but immediately launches into a description of his feelings of abandonment and frustration over God’s seeming lack of care. He goes so far as to blame God for his hardships. Twice. Then the psalm ends. No resolution. No happy ending. No tidy philosophical bow on top. Just Heman sitting alone in the middle of his pain. Have you been there? Me too….
 
This is the only psalm in our Scriptures credited to Heman. Perhaps the king wanted something a little more upbeat from his choir director. But Psalm 88 was recorded and preserved for a reason. We have to get real with ourselves and how we are affected by life, the world, and the circumstances we face. Not to wallow, but to process and keep moving forward.

Your wrath has swept over me; 
     your terrors have destroyed me.
All day long they surround me like a flood;
    they have completely engulfed me.
You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
    darkness is my closest friend.  –Psalm 88:16-18 (NIV)
 
Heman, even in his despair, was wise enough to entrust his heavy heart to the One who could help, though he did not see or feel it in the moment. He knew he was serving a God with broad shoulders, a God who already knew what he was going through, a God who would never turn him away even as he lashed out in anger and disappointment. 
 
That’s a good God, y’all. Bring Him your ragged prayers. He can take it.